Liar, liar.

“If you want to know the foulness of lying for yourself, consider the lying of someone else and how you shun it and despise the man who lies and regard his communication as foul. Do the same with regard to all your own vices, for you do not realize the foulness of your vices from your own case, but from someone else’s.” – Al-Ghazali

Right now I’m reading “Lying : Moral Choice in Public and Private Life.” It was written by Sissela Bok after Watergate, and centers on the different reasons for why lies should be told or shouldn’t be told from the perspective of the deceiver and the victim, how we come to accept them as a society, and moral reasons that basically outline our complicity when it comes to the act of lying.

I don’t think you need to have an interest in Ethics, or Philosophy, to grasp the ideas presented in this text. The subject matter is straight forward, and looks at both sides of lying, not just the side we can most readily associate our own personal selves with.

So what is a lie, what is the truth then? A lie is simply stated as such: a purposely deceptive message transmitted in the form of a statement. So a lie is a statement that is told intentionally, to deceive someone else.

“When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful.” – St. Augustine

“Suppose men imagined there was no obligation to veracity, and acted accordingly; speaking as often against their own opinion as according to it; would not all pleasure of conversation be destroyed, and all confidence in narration? Men would only speak in bargaining, and in this too would soon lose all mutual confidence.” – Francis Hutcheson

There’s something to be said for Kant’s observation about lying, that lying basically “obliterates the dignity of the human being.”

I understand so far as this: that there’s more to lying than just another person telling you something that isn’t true. There is a choice made when it comes to the actual telling of a lie, to deceive, and this is the difference being truthful and being deceptive. Many people believe and accept that lying is ok, because it does no harm, no physical harm, and there are no weighted consequences visible to deter one from the act of lying itself. But I say this: to lie to someone, to tell lies, is to do more than be deceptive. You take advantage of someone else’s trust when you lie; take away their freedom, their right to choose for themselves when you lie because you only present falseness. How can one rationally chose what is best for them when they aren’t presented with every option, and at that, every true option. When liars are found out they are discredited as people, this does more than just eliminate a basic trust between the liar and the victim; it erodes the sense of trust for the victims for future interactions, not only with the liar, but with others. One could say that a society that functions without basic trust wouldn’t be much of place to inhabit. It would be everyone for themselves, miserable, and lacking.

I know what I feel like when I’m lied to. I also know that when I catch someone in a lie I confront that person and discontinue my relationship with them. I choose not to lie to others because as an act, it doesn’t enrich my life or my relationships, it takes away from it, and from the experience I’ve had with others, it only seems to decrease theirs. When you lie you have to cover lies with lies, work on constructing believable outcomes, and keep on top of your “stories,” for when you don’t, your network of illusion crumbles and you are found out.

Everyone does it, it’s why as a society, it’s almost acceptable. To lie or not to lie, maybe this should be the question.